Understanding Childhood Trauma

Understanding Childhood Trauma and the Holistic Path to Healing

By Dr. Diana Martin, Ph.D. in Holistic Medicine (non-secular)

Childhood trauma doesn’t always look like what people expect. It’s not always bruises or police reports. Sometimes it’s the deep ache of feeling invisible, the fear of an unpredictable outburst, or the tight knot in your stomach when you hear someone yelling. For many adults walking around today, those early experiences—left unnamed and unaddressed—are still quietly shaping their choices, relationships, health, and self-worth. I know this intimately. I grew up in a household marked by both love and fear, safety and instability. My father, once a member of the Hell’s Angels, was a complex man. He could be kind and generous to strangers, show empathy to a man living under a bridge, but somehow bypass those same sensitivities when it came to his own children.

As a child, I didn’t know the word “narcissism.” I didn’t know that his behavior—intense mood swings, grandiosity, lack of accountability, and emotional volatility—could be rooted in deep-seated trauma of his own. I only knew the feeling of walking on eggshells. I remember the rages that would erupt out of nowhere and the fear that would ripple through the house like a silent alarm. My mom would go quiet, eyes down, trying not to provoke him. My siblings and I would scatter or freeze, each of us developing our own survival strategy. It wasn’t until I was much older that I began to understand: what we experienced was trauma. And not just the kind that stays in the mind—it etched itself into our nervous systems, our identities, our bodies.

Many adults don’t realize they’re living with unresolved childhood trauma because they’ve normalized their symptoms. You may think your anxiety is just being a “worrywart,” your people-pleasing is just being “nice,” your inability to relax is “just how you are.” But these can be trauma responses—deep, protective adaptations your younger self developed to survive. If you grew up in a household where love was conditional, where silence was safety, or where anger ruled, your nervous system likely became wired for hypervigilance. This isn’t just psychological. It’s physiological. It lives in your muscles, your hormones, your digestion, even your sleep.

Some signs of unresolved childhood trauma in adulthood include chronic anxiety, difficulty trusting others, perfectionism, an intense fear of failure or rejection, trouble setting boundaries, feeling emotionally numb or disconnected, overreacting to minor stressors, or gravitating toward toxic relationships. You might struggle with self-worth or find yourself stuck in cycles of self-sabotage. These patterns aren’t flaws—they’re signals. They’re your nervous system’s way of trying to protect you from perceived threats, based on old wiring that no longer serves your present life.

Healing from childhood trauma is not about blaming parents or reliving pain for the sake of pain. It’s about naming what happened, honoring what you survived, and reclaiming the parts of you that were forced to hide or adapt in order to stay safe. My healing journey began when I finally stopped minimizing my experiences. I realized that my father’s moments of kindness didn’t cancel out the terror. I could love him, and still name the harm. I could hold compassion for his pain, and still prioritize my own healing.

In my holistic practice, I approach trauma healing from the understanding that true recovery must address the whole person—mind, body, and spirit. This means therapy is often part of the process, but so is nervous system regulation, energetic healing, breathwork, bodywork, spiritual exploration, and lifestyle support. The body needs to feel safe again. We need to unlearn the belief that rest is lazy, that saying no is selfish, that our needs are a burden. We need to relearn what it feels like to live in a calm, connected, and grounded body.

One of the first tools I recommend for clients healing trauma is somatic awareness. Start noticing your body. When do you tense up? When do you hold your breath? Where does your body clench when you feel shame or fear? These sensations are like breadcrumbs that lead you back to the places where your body is still holding the past. Practices like yoga, Qigong, tai chi, or trauma-informed movement can gently help unwind the stored tension. Breathwork, done mindfully and slowly, can also be transformative, especially when paired with affirmations of safety and worthiness.

Food and herbs can be incredible allies on this journey. In holistic medicine, we view the gut as a second brain, and the quality of food we consume can influence our emotional resilience. Anti-inflammatory foods like leafy greens, wild salmon, blueberries, turmeric, and ginger can support a calmer system. Fermented foods like sauerkraut, kimchi, and kefir help restore gut flora, which is often disrupted by chronic stress. Magnesium-rich foods—like avocados, nuts, and dark chocolate—support nervous system function and can ease anxiety.

Herbal support can also be powerful. Adaptogens like ashwagandha, holy basil (tulsi), and Rhodiola help the body regulate stress more effectively. Chamomile and lemon balm can soothe anxiety and promote restful sleep. Skullcap and passionflower are wonderful for calming the racing mind. For heart-healing, rose petals in tea or tincture form can be energetically nurturing. As always, herbs should be used with care and ideally with the guidance of a trained practitioner—especially if you are taking medications or have underlying health conditions.

One of my favorite healing rituals is tea-making. It’s simple, slow, and intentional. There’s something deeply sacred about preparing your own cup of herbal tea, especially when done with affirmations or quiet reflection. I often suggest clients start with a daily ritual: rose and chamomile tea at night, perhaps with a few drops of lemon balm tincture. Wrap your hands around the warm mug and allow yourself to feel held. Healing doesn’t have to be loud or dramatic. Sometimes it’s in these soft, steady acts of self-care that the deepest rewiring begins.

As someone who has walked this path personally and professionally, I want you to know that healing is absolutely possible. You are not broken. You are not too damaged. You are not alone. Those parts of you that feel fearful or avoidant or hyper-independent—they’re not your enemies. They were your protectors. And now, as an adult, you have the power to thank them, and gently let them rest. You can create a new narrative for your life—one that honors your truth, your body, and your inherent worth.

It’s taken me years to untangle my sense of identity from the patterns I learned in childhood. I’ve had to confront grief, rage, compassion, and clarity all at once. I’ve had to forgive without forgetting, and love without excusing. But on the other side of that hard work is something beautiful: peace. I no longer live in survival mode. I no longer mistake chaos for passion or silence for safety. I trust myself now. I nurture myself. I show up for the little girl inside me who once felt invisible, and I tell her, every single day, “You matter. I see you. I love you.”

If you’re reading this and recognizing parts of yourself in my story, take heart. You are at the beginning of something sacred. Naming your trauma is an act of courage. Choosing to heal is an act of rebellion against the dysfunction you were raised in. You deserve joy. You deserve connection. You deserve to feel safe in your body, in your relationships, and in your own mind. Healing won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. And every step you take—no matter how small—is a step back toward your wholeness.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If this message resonated with you, I invite you to explore the support and resources available here on my website. Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or you’re looking to deepen the work you've already started, you’ll find programs, workshops, and holistic guidance tailored to help you reconnect with your authentic self.

At Thrive Holistic Wellness, we offer trauma-informed support rooted in compassion, education, and empowerment. From one-on-one coaching and holistic wellness plans to herbal guidance and group workshops, everything is designed to help you heal from the inside out—mind, body, and spirit.

Take that next brave step. You’re not broken, you’re becoming whole!

✨ Explore our programs and resources right here on the site.

✨ Reach out directly if you have questions or need personalized support:

📧 Email me at thrivedrdiana@yahoo.com

With love and in solidarity,

Diana Martin

Founder, Thrive Holistic Wellness, Inc.

Ph.D. in Holistic Medicine